u cant hold forever for things' even if its things u loved, even is its things u were made of. even if its people u were made of. even if its your feelings to these people u were enturely made of.
not when u see these people for what they are. or fr what they have become. they are not the good people u thought anf felt they were.
u were not naive, not at all. not in the least. u did not expect these people tu be deducated for u only. u never expected that anyway, not since u were one and a half years old/
yes' I do remember from this age, and its true, proven true, and its mine.
if it were good memories, then I probably wouldnt have remembered, and even if I did, no one would have an objection.
but when its BAD MEMORIES........ well, then they dont like it.
why, I ask u? why dont they like it?
is it laziness?
is it anger towards me. making them watch something so un nice, so un civilyed?
or maybe it is fear? fear of that wrathfull emotion in me, that emotion which keeps saying, where were u? where were u?
where were u when this little girl was suffering, hurting, lonely, lost?
why did u not stop your comfortable life and take her in?
u do that for cats dont u?
and dogs?
but then, they are thankfull, where as a little all abandoned girl, she is not satisfing. she does NOT make u feel good.
so.
its those people it is so hard to get out of your life, yet u must.
and once u do that, u know, u must take out so much more......
para para, they say in my native tongue.
dont do it all at once. be old. be wize. leave yourself some to walk on before u walk on something else.
such as baking.